And This Is Why

See normally I would just let things lie.

I’m at a place in My Life where I’m not getting any younger, and the path in My World is for those that want to be on that positive trip.  Shit happens.  Yes it certainly does.  And in most cases, there’s not much you can do except roll with the punches and keep pushing forward.

So I keep pushing forward.  Still in a great place with my career,  My kids are healthy and happy, and this bubble that I’m in, to be blunt, is pretty damn sweet.

And of course, there’s always someone waiting in the wings to make an attempt to screw it all up.

I’m happy to dissapoint them.

This weekend, I celebrated my youngest son’s 2nd birthday.  Originally it was supposed to be a bunch of people from the fathers side of the family.  And of course, they wanted it to be on their terms.

And what would those terms be?

How about the birthday boy being sent to their house while I’m not there?

How about saying that they don’t want to have anything to do with me so they’ll never come to this house to see my son as long as I’m here.

How about having them say “its wrong that you’re choosing your girlfriend over your family and its not fair to them”

How about a level of stupidity, immaturity and flat out LOW CLASS of the sister in law saying she wants to punch me in my face because I didn’t say hello to her when she came into MY house, uninvited.

The all-american family here right?  Totally the kind of people that I would be so comfortable with allowing my children around.

(and if you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic here, then yes, this is the part where I’m being sarcastic)

The thing is, hubby tried.  He really tried to get me to buy into the whole “family bonding, strength in numbers” song and dance.  We’re going on five years now and throughout that whole time, there was a high level of tolerance.  Yep, I tolerated them.  Because that’s what made hubby happy.  I kept the smile on my face, remained cordial, and allowed them to take the baby whenever they wanted time with him.  Because that’s what its all about right?


I say this with the utmost sincerity, resilience and grace that I can muster:

Fuck. That. Family.

“I’m not the right one for Him” They Say.

 Why is that?  Because I refuse to conform to the textbook definition of a size 5, perky tits, obedient girl that will just sprout out a child like a fucking puppy and allow them to raise Him as they see fit?

Because My Beliefs have never and will never fall in line with the hypocrites of those going to church and committing sin before they exit the archways of “godliness”?

It seems like all of My Life, I wanted, yearned, even ached for a sense of belonging.

And now I look at My two boys; I look at them knowing that their lives are still a blank canvas    and I have the ability to paint whatever image of life and hope for a good future for them.

I’m still trying to figure out how to color their lives..and everyday the shades take on a different hue.  Nothing is ever certain, but to steal a good quote, the one certainty I know is this:

“Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children.”

As far as I’m concerned, that’s all they need to know.


Brava Miss Minaj…

You are officially a member of the league of extraordinary dumbasses.  

You know, its kind of hard to ignore this young person.  Note, I don’t refer to her as a lady, because to define her as such, she would have to eliminate the crap that comes out of her mouth every 5 seconds.  Weather it be the N word, or bitch, or hoe, or whatever happy sunshine word spews from her hole whenever its her time of the month.

So I’m reading the news and this of all things makes the headlines:

It’s bad enough that A Legend such as Steven Tyler has to defend Himself against someone that is 3/4 younger than him.  It’s bad enough that if someone has an opinion, that the race card gets thrown back in their face where clearly there was no reason for that card to be even drawn.  What pisses me off is that this young person goes ahead and fuels this fire, not with an actual intelligent inquiry, but feels the need to have her ghetto minions add fuel to her pepto bismol wigged cranium and allow this to go somewhere it had no business going.

I wonder..if Bill Cosby had said the same thing, would she have reacted the same way?

Guarantee you she wouldn’t have.  

Fact is, Rainbow Brite, Steven Tyler is renowned.  An icon in the industry that you so graciously flourished the world in with your voice that sounds like a cat being mutilated in a Chinese restaurant getting ready to be served up as kung pow chicken.

And THIS is supposed to be a person that is Godly?

Minaj is a Christian, stating her faith in Jesus on Christmas Day 2011, tweeting John 3:16. She stated that after her father went to rehab and started attending church, “he got saved and started changing his life.” Minaj states that her heroes are “God. And my mother.”

Really?…Like, REALLY?!

I’m not a Godly person in the slightest.  I’ll be the first one to say it.  But this kid claiming to be Christian spewing the trash that comes out of her mouth every day from the N word, to public spectacles of stupidity that makes you just want to change the channel or turn off the radio; I’m calling fake. Bogus. Bullshit. Godless.

Makes no difference to me.  Anyone can preach or in her case “tweet” a biblical passage.  In fact, I’ll post one right now, to prove my point:

John 13:34 A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.

I don’t recall love including the words Bitch, hoe, and so on and so forth.

So Rainbow Brite, since you have so many millions, go buy yourself a decent vocabulary, a better reputation, and oh, one more thing…







Toro Rojo Dios Te Bendiga







These are some of the things I will miss about having Mrs. Leyla Christensen-Hannibal as a part of My life.

So how would I send her off?  

~She was a figment of my imagination that manifested into something co-existing with my life which spawned something that could be remembered through the years?

Nah…too over exaggerated. 

~She was an entity that changed peoples lives weather the outcome was prosperous or chaotic?

Nah..too Skyrim-ish.

~She was a straight up cunt that didn’t give a shit about censoring her thoughts.  Did not know when to STFU, even though She would say the truth that people didn’t want to hear.  Sure, it was the truth, but She didn’t STFU!!!!

Yea, that’s kinda nice.  I like that.

I loved to write.  Even when I was a kid, I would write poems and short stories that would open the gates of an imagination of poor kid living in the ghetto wishing every day to be any place else than where she was at the present moment.  

Many years later, discovering Second Life, I found a place where I could let my imagination have no limits, except for the ones I set for myself.  So lets see…

Leyla, The Hooker, The Club Owner, The Psychiatrist, The “Other Woman”, The Entrepreneur, The Adviser, The Druid Priestess, The Vampyr Royal, The Crazy, Red Bull Chugging Loca Freakin Rican 

(That last one is true in both worlds actually)

But between all those titles, hierarchy or not, I would like to think that somewhere in there, I was considered at one point or another, a friend.

Cause that’s what its all about right?

You get into a social network and you make friends. Weather they live down the block, in the next city or the next country.  Doesn’t matter how far away you are physically, so long as your words and your time touch that person and leave a mark on them.

I can say, truthfully, Leyla was gone over a year ago.  I had no more to give her.  There were no more stories to tell.  There was no reason to have her around.  I hit a wall in my heart and in the collision, the inspiration to keep her going died out.  

Epiphanies. Just literally saying Fuck It.  Those things each played a factor in that choice.   That and actually turning around and looking at the family I have in front of me that need me.  Truly need Me.  

And You know what?  I’m good.  I’m good with My choice.  I always owned every choice I made in both worlds.  And I regretted none of them.

 This one was no different.

So I create 3 ‘You’s” and if it sticks and know which ones apply, you get a smiley sticker!  Its in the mail.

~I love You./I pity You./I’m sorry, Who are You?


So Leyla, you hooka-bum biotch…You home wreckin, big pimpin, energy feedin, red bull drippin, tree huggin boriqua..

Besos Y Abrasos.  It’s been Real. 

(and for the non spanish out there..Toro Rojo Dios Te Bendiga= May the Red  Bull Gods Bless You!!   BOOYYYAHHH!)


Back with a big Middle Finger

Ok so heres the response so far regarding the NYC Marathon being cancelled…

6:45 PM Lauren Johnston

I just spoke to some runners about the marathon. I was supposed to run it too and had very mixed feelings about it. Here are some comments from others who were signed up to run, including a quote from one runner who was inside the Jacob Javits Center waiting to pick up his marathon number when the announcement was made that the race was called off:

Dr. Orlando Gonzalez, 39, a sports medicine doctor at Gotham Orthopedics in Jersey City was inside the Javits Center on line to get his marathon bib when the announcement was made:

“People in front of me are crying. This group of German guys in line with me who flew in yesterday, they said if this would have been decided a week ago the wouldn’t have come. People are yelling. People are p-ssed off.”

“I’m personally very upset about this. I took the last ferry in from New Jersey to get here. I don’t even know how I’m getting back. I understand the call, it’s the right call, it’s not the right timing. The call should have been made a week ago. The call cannot be made 48 hours before hundreds of thousands of people are being mobilized and shifted.”

SO HERE’S My little piece of wisdom:
I’m personally upset about the blatant ignorance of people that are “woe is me, I can’t walk” A week ago, the city was preparing for this storm and no one except the alleged almighty Himself, could have predicted this hurricane would result in complete devastation, death, poverty, violence and unspeakable loss. Flew all the way from germany and you get to go back there huh? Try walking across the brooklyn bridge or better yet walk even farther from that and cross the Goethals Bridge or the Verrazano and try to make it past the flooded areas, destroyed homes or better yet LOOK A FAMILY IN THE EYE THAT HAS LOST EVERYTHING AND SAY “Hey, I’m walkin over here!”
“People are p-ssed off”: You haven’t seen p-oed until you see a .25 caliber pistol in your face over A TANK OF GAS! You haven’t seen p-oed until you look at a mother who is devastated that she couldn’t hold onto her children as the water literally pulled them from her arms.

“The call cannot be made 48 hours before hundreds of thousands of people are being mobilized and shifted.”
Hundreds of thousands of people being mobilized and shifted…ok..does that include the same if not more of hundreds of thousands that had their homes obliterated and they have NOWHERE to mobilize to?! Im just sayin…

So sorry to burst bubbles, offend and dissapoint..but reality check: walking isnt going to do a damn thing for the people surrounding you that are literally suffering and trying to figure out how they’re going to make it..not two weeks from now, not two months from now..but literally the next hour, in the next 30 minutes.
You think about that. And while you do that..take a long, long walk off towards staten island, or the jersey shore, or better yet Coney Island..actually it may be a short walk..cause when you get there you’ll realize there’s nothing left.

My thoughts are with those that are suffering..i have my bags of donations ready and im going out there tomorrow to help those who need it..what are YOU doin?