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Sunbeams are not made like…

I dreamed about Him the other night.

His face was all shiny like he got slapped with a bottle of expensive baby oil if there ever is such a thing.  Clean shaven.  Hair was nicely shaped up.   He had on a blue shirt and was within arms distance of me.  I wanted to hug him.  But instead we talked.

I wish I could remember what He said.  But I do remember crying in my dream.  His face was loving and welcoming.  I guess He was telling me that everything was ok.  He was ok.  He looked happy.

Right now as I’m typing this, the tears keep coming.  It’s like, I knew He was suffering in this world.  And now He’s not.. and I should be glad or at peace or whatever, but of course, I miss My Father.

It’s like when I drive home from work, and I’m listening to music, I see Him in that chair.  Or I see His body wrapped in that blue blanket.  It fuckin kills me.

But then I dream about Him..healthy.  Smiling.With those eyes that tell me “it’s gonna be alright “Bebe.”  He used to say that when He said he loved me.  “I love you too, Bebe.”  Even now I hear Him say that when I say I love Him in the open air.

Jesus dont want me for a sunbeam..Sunbeams are not made like me.


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