Not Over it.
Never Over it.
Don’t wanna be over it.
I have no great words to express how I’m feeling right now.
Honestly, in my life, I don’t have time to feel, or to dwell, or to pause whats happening around me to have, what my better counterpart would say “a moment.”
But now, while the kids and hubby are sleeping, while I put down my bag and kick off my shoes from a long day of work, I’m sitting here with a beer, having a fucking moment.
1. The state or quality of being loyal.
2. A feeling or attitude of devoted attachment and affection. Often used in the plural: “My loyalties lie with my family.”
Pulling apart these words, and the thinking of a statement that was made by a piece of shit who is less than the biggest fucking roach on the lower east side…yea..My loyalties lie where they should:
With A Man who was there with me, for me, for 22 years of my life.
Let Me clear: He didn’t HAVE to be there. He didn’t HAVE to stick around after that fucking cuntrag bailed and left Him with 2 kids who in a nutshell, didn’t have a mother anymore.
Not that she was a mother in the first place, but this was the icing on the cake.
This Man, Our Father, who sat there and listened, nurtured, gave us choice, treated us like his princesses, who said He was proud of the paths that we made in our lives, He made the choice; to love Us unconditionally. To support us even if we were wrong. To sacrifice whatever He had for the sake of his girls…
THAT is a Parent. THAT is what inspires us to be the Mothers that We are. THAT is why we are loyal. And not because its an obligation, or a burden:
Its because He loved Us when no one else would. Not even the piece of shit that to this day, curses His name because “as Her daughters, we need to have some form of loyalty to Her.”
Fuck. That. Noise. Ok?
Fuck it up the ass, 20 times, with a syphilis, wart covered cock.
Her jealousy of Him is unfathomable. You would THINK that this bitch would show an INKLING of gratitude for Him picking up the pieces of a broken family and putting them back together. Lord knows She didn’t have the balls to do it. And fuck knows She didn’t even try.
I know what some of You are thinking. You’re sitting there thinking
“how can she say these things? what damage was so massive that she would want to wish demise on the woman who bore her life?”
There aren’t enough words, not enough blogs, expressions, tears, or levels of hatred that can describe what that woman has done, and continues to do.
“You need to let it go. You need to forgive. Cause that’s what Jesus would do.”
“The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it,” Proverbs 30:17. “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness,” Proverbs 20:20.
Ok s0 pretty much, this is what I have to say about that:
This sinner would rather have the ravens and eagles shut the fuck up with their cawing and turn into 4 chicken wings with french fries.
Let my ass live in the darkness…and even from there I’ll be shouting to the point of insanity: MY FATHER WAS MORE OF A PARENT IN 10 LIFETIMES THAN THAT WHORE WAS IN 1!!
And if I actually believed in God, I would say to Her/Him/It:
I’d go through it all over again, as long as you bless me with the same father I had.
That’s where loyalty lies. And it stays with That Man even after I lose my breath.