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And This Is Why

See normally I would just let things lie.

I’m at a place in My Life where I’m not getting any younger, and the path in My World is for those that want to be on that positive trip.  Shit happens.  Yes it certainly does.  And in most cases, there’s not much you can do except roll with the punches and keep pushing forward.

So I keep pushing forward.  Still in a great place with my career,  My kids are healthy and happy, and this bubble that I’m in, to be blunt, is pretty damn sweet.

And of course, there’s always someone waiting in the wings to make an attempt to screw it all up.

I’m happy to dissapoint them.

This weekend, I celebrated my youngest son’s 2nd birthday.  Originally it was supposed to be a bunch of people from the fathers side of the family.  And of course, they wanted it to be on their terms.

And what would those terms be?

How about the birthday boy being sent to their house while I’m not there?

How about saying that they don’t want to have anything to do with me so they’ll never come to this house to see my son as long as I’m here.

How about having them say “its wrong that you’re choosing your girlfriend over your family and its not fair to them”

How about a level of stupidity, immaturity and flat out LOW CLASS of the sister in law saying she wants to punch me in my face because I didn’t say hello to her when she came into MY house, uninvited.

The all-american family here right?  Totally the kind of people that I would be so comfortable with allowing my children around.

(and if you can’t tell I’m being sarcastic here, then yes, this is the part where I’m being sarcastic)

The thing is, hubby tried.  He really tried to get me to buy into the whole “family bonding, strength in numbers” song and dance.  We’re going on five years now and throughout that whole time, there was a high level of tolerance.  Yep, I tolerated them.  Because that’s what made hubby happy.  I kept the smile on my face, remained cordial, and allowed them to take the baby whenever they wanted time with him.  Because that’s what its all about right?


I say this with the utmost sincerity, resilience and grace that I can muster:

Fuck. That. Family.

“I’m not the right one for Him” They Say.

 Why is that?  Because I refuse to conform to the textbook definition of a size 5, perky tits, obedient girl that will just sprout out a child like a fucking puppy and allow them to raise Him as they see fit?

Because My Beliefs have never and will never fall in line with the hypocrites of those going to church and committing sin before they exit the archways of “godliness”?

It seems like all of My Life, I wanted, yearned, even ached for a sense of belonging.

And now I look at My two boys; I look at them knowing that their lives are still a blank canvas    and I have the ability to paint whatever image of life and hope for a good future for them.

I’m still trying to figure out how to color their lives..and everyday the shades take on a different hue.  Nothing is ever certain, but to steal a good quote, the one certainty I know is this:

“Mother is the name of God on the lips and hearts of all children.”

As far as I’m concerned, that’s all they need to know.


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